My new year

i don`t have much time to write and these japanese keyboards making typing in english difficult. i forgot to write something on my pc last night so i really have nothing to upload but i wanted to let you in on a few small details.

the important stuff:

i got into level three, it costs me 4dollars to wash clothes, i have internat only at school, no movies or tv, i cook my own food, and i absolutely 100% love my life exactly as it is.

and lately i`ve been thinking that maybe i dont want to leave. i mean i know with perfect clarity that i dont want to leave but i know i have to. i just havent figured out how to stay. but i know there is no way and i have to leave but despite all that has happened that was bad and because of all that has happened that was good i really just want to stay here forever. i always heard from random people that they could and did live in a place their whole lives and i always wondered how that was possible but i can see now that it really depends on the place. if i had to be confined to one place for the rest of my life i would want it to be tokyo. there is nothing about toyko that i dont like and i learn japanese really fast and its beautiful and nothing ever close either. and i`m not tired of it. and the people that have been in the same place with me for very long know the itch on the bottom of my soul that prompts me to move often. but i dont feel that here. i just feel at home. like this is exactly where i am meant to be, maybe forever.

i know that that is not what i said before i came and it is not what i promised to everyone. but its not like i want to miss the cutest most cuddly years of the babies lives or be away from my family for the rest of our lives and never meet again. its not about any of that. it just feels right here. leaving will be one of the hardest things i have ever done.

ok, that was a lot and i`m almost out of time. well, anyways, that`s what i`ve been thinking lately. but i love you all, i miss you. i`m having a great time.
me