You might not like this

the title says it all.

okay so first i feel that i should let everyone know about my boyfriend.

Yes, he's japanese. No, he doesn't speak english. It's difficult but we're making it work.
No, he's not a student, he has a job fixing appliances in a store.
He's 33. and no, it doesn't bother me.
and he is actually the guy i picked up on the train about two weeks ago.

now, before you start in on the concerning i want you to remember one thing.
I am not Stupid.

I don't hit on every guy i meet on trains and i didn't really hit on him so much. I just smiled, then he smiled, then i felt my heart hop out of my chest and squelch across the train to stand beside him. Then we talked, then he walked me to my next train, we traded numbers, had our first date the next day, and i've been crazy for him the entire time.

The day of the date, when he called and asked where to meet and what time, as i was getting ready and even as i was talking to him i told myself that i didn't need to go, i had no reason to go and meet this stranger. but at the same time, i knew i did.

it's not love, i don't think people can fall in love at first sight. but whatever it is, it happened the moment i saw him, and every time i'm around him i feel like i could fly or do anything. and just holding hands with him, or walking down the street by his side, or seeing his face, smelling his scent. i just want more of all of it.

and he's so gentle. he's so protective and tender and sometimes he just looks at me with this expression on his face that makes me want to cry. like he's really in this too. like whatever wierd emotion is between us, he feels it too and i'm not just crazy.

i don't know.

i don't think i'm explaining it right. it's just so perfect when we're together. and when we're apart i get so lonely that i want to cry. and i can't concentrate on anything and all of my original sentences for class have him in them. and if i'm not talking about him, i'm thinking about him, or thinking about what he would say if he were with me, remembering the way my hand feels better holding his. and i've never felt so much for one person before, not like this. He makes me feel beautiful and delicate and special and adored and he makes me want to say the words i love you so much less often, so that when i say them to him it'll mean more.

because i love everyone but i've never loved anyone like him before.

god, i am crazy. i have midterms all day tomorrow but all i can think is that it's been a less than a week since i saw him last and every minute of it majorly sucked.

oh well, i can try to study. and wait until he gets off of work....
bye,
me