i should be studying

i should be, but i can't.

all day i've been thinking that i'm so lucky. this much luck just doesn't happen all of the time, it couldn't. so i've decided that it must simply be that without realizing it, i did something that earned me this much goodness. if i knew, i think i'd try doing it again.

so why am i lucky?

first, i randomly meet Hiro-omi, who is now my sweetheart and the topic of almost all my conversations and thoughts. and in a stroke of pure luck, he thinks i'm amazing too. But i don't hold his poor judgement against him. i hope it will continue.

and more luck, i had a horrible day on thursday but my teachers, my classmates, and all of the people at my school and in my life were so so so so great. Roxanna talked me down, Michiko took me to the doctors (for my feet, what else is new), and everyone was just there with hugs and support and just being there. and Hiro made all of my troubles and worries disappear.

don't think i'm being all sappy but i've never had a guy just hold me when i was sad. i've never had anyone just hold me when i'm sad but these people, i couldn't push them away. they wouldn't let me be alone to be sad. i could barely talk hiro out of cutting off of work to see me.

and i keep thinking that there is no way one person could be lucky enough to just randomly be surrounded by this many good people. and i know it's sudden but i really have never felt this way about a guy before.

it makes my heart beat faster to talk to him and it makes me sigh to be away from him. and when we're together, i don't get hungry or tired or anything. i feel like i'm electric. or on fire or something new and tingly and happy and i want more time in the day or i don't care what we're talking about as long as we're talking.

i'm trying to be careful but i find myself crazy about him already. and everyone knows i'm the least boy crazy person ever. plus, he bought me another cell phone. specifically to call him so that he can foot the bill for our talk time, not me. it's sweet but he's given me so much i'm starting to get annoyed at his wonderful-ness. not really, just envious because i wish i was that amazing.

anyhow i SHOULD be studying, so i'll try.