So i've sort of figured out this whole pounds to kilos thing and i wanted to let everyone know that they were both right and wrong. Everyone said i was gonna lose a ton of wieght when i got to japan. not so.
i have lost only 5 pounds in a month but dropped 2 inches from almost everywhere, except my calves, man i look like a biker or a tri-athelete or just someone with massive calves. well, maybe they were always big but now it's really noticeble since my thighs are smaller. oh well. it's a start i guess.
and i went to harajuku last night, hoping to find any type of pants close to my new size, Thank god we bought belts mom, and nothing. it was a pointless nay, dis-appointing search and the best part of it was coming home.
and i finally have my new train pass so i am no longer throwing money out the window to go back and forth for school. so yay on that front. and i am cleaning my room and maybe re-arranging it so that i can find a balance betweeen keeping it clean and livable, and making it less distracting to study in.
the reason? i failed my midterms. i'm probably going to have to do level 2 over again. and it's not because i don't get it. it's because i'm the kind moron that didn't flip the test over and look to see if there was a back side! yeah, so even if it was perfect, i still failed. i was so heartbroken over that that i almost cried right there in class.
i mean, i convinced myself that all my studying would pay off and that i would be able to do this test perfectly. and i really thought i was until they collected it and i saw the back page. i just got so mad at myself, for sitting there thinking "well that was easy." it's just, all the studying in the world can't make me less of an idiot and i'm tired of continuously failing tests for stupid mistakes that have nothing to do with the grammer i know by heart!
so, if i don't pull together and amaze everyone with the next few tests, i know for a fact i'll be kept back. and then i won't get to forth year and i won't get credit for any of this. but i have a plan, for if i get kept back. i'm going to study super hard over break and force them to bump me up. even my teachers know that i'm not failing because i don't get it, i'm one of the best students usually IN class. on tests i am the worst.
yeah so today is my i want to cry but i'm not giving up day. mark it, because the crying will probably win out later.
Shamrocks Day
Kiss me, I'm Irish!
About Me
- Nellyaudrey
- I'm sincere, I bump into empty chairs and apologize, I sing Disney songs in the shower, and speak Japanese when I sleep. I'm not exactly normal.
Tattoo
It's from Mirror Mask
1 comment:
Its okay! You can cry all you want, and all you need. Silly things happen like forgetting to look at the other side, or falling down a flight of stairs and not being able to find pants in your size in Japan, because everyone there is a negative zero. It happens, but the fact that you aren't giving up is what makes it worth it. You're going to keep going Jess, because you are strong and you're following your dream. I love you!
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