brief update

okay so this is just a brief update and i really don't know quite where to start. i feel like everything about me is changing so much that if i blinked i'd miss something too so i don't know what or how to describe what you haven't seen.


i guess i'll start with some pictures. and guess what, i didn't have to position myself to hide a double chin. for once. And i just took them here, so sorry no sights of japan. i keep forgetting my camera at home. but i'll try to remember to bring around more often.







I know, pretty right? but try living around a poulace who's average size is 0 and you'll understand why i still feel like i wiegh a billion pounds at size 12-14.



and i thought i had a job but the offer got recinded so now i'm looking for work anywhere. but the moment they hear my accent or see my face it's always the same "i'm sorry the position was just filled two seconds ago. bad luck. sorry." it's sucky but whats worse is knowing that the debtors sara's dealing with are soon going to be my problem too.



and my english is getting sucky. i don't know i'm gonna graduate with an english major when my english has gotten so bad. oh well, i'm sure it'll snap back.



and everyone over here is trying to convince me to stay, not to mention all of my korean friends keep telling me how much they adore me and then going off to jobs or colleges and never writing again. the affection train is kinda giving me whiplash.



not to mention that SOMEONE wha will remain unnamed but that i am furious with told me my REQUIRED non-make up able test was at 2:30 yesterday when really it was at 12:30. so i missed it. so again, i'm in jepardy of not passing, but this time not because i didn't study, i have been doing really well. but luck just doesn't want me to get to level 4 i guess. well, screw luck, i'm going.



and anyhow, i have hurry and go to the gym or all the good machines will be taken by the timme i get there. and yes, i have been going to the gym. i have gotten totally a lot stronger and i wasn't that much of a weakling before.



loves and hugs. miss you guys.
me

hey

if you have any internet suggestions, PLEASE tell me. i love you guys, not having internet it sucks.

love you. so much.

and mom, can you possibly take out of my bank of the west account and put at least 150 dollars in my debit account. i need to make a payment on my credit card and i need some money.

oh and i'm having a little dispute with my phone company and they think i made 1000 dollars worth of calls to america but everyone should know that's not true. and so i'm either gonna have to buy a prepaid phone this weekend or pay that really high bill or something. but utami san gave me the phone number of the city lawyer that helps english speakers. so i'll talk to him and then to a police box, because someone said that they might be able to help me somehow.

so i am kinda in a financial pickle and honestly i've been thinking about getting another loan, or like an extension on the one i have. mom, can you maybe call me before sunday night at 10pm my time at the latest?

i love you so much and i know what pressure you're under with the buying of a new house. i don't want to make trouble but i can't just run out of money. i'm living as little as i can but apparently breathing here is much more expensive than i could have ever imagined. plus, my credit card does have a limit.

anyhow, love you. that's it.

Hi people

i haven't gotten any internet still. but i bought a screwdriver and i am planning on opening up the back of my pc to make sure the ethernet port isn't damaged.

i'm writing more frequently too. i think my head is getting fuzzy lately. but i think it's because midterms are coming up next week and i have been studying all sorts of rigorously.

oh well, i'm sleepy and thanks to kim who has let me use her internet anytime i ask for it.

love you,
miss you,
me

long time no type

sorry i think i'm getting used to not having internet and i keep forgetting to check in on things. eventually i know it'll get sorted but at the moment its pretty inconvenient to check anything out.


and classes are going well, i'm losing weight, and i dyed my hair into like a sandy light brown. and i have bangs, they dont look as good as i'd like them too but soon i should grow more attatched, it's just that at the moment they're pretty short and i'm not liking the shortness.

anyhow i can't wait to see Elizabeth who comes in march and i'm still waiting on a working permit and i'm really having a good time. it's great.

i miss you all so much right now that i can't even accurately describe what it feels like, like missing a liver or something, where you dont notice it at first but gradually you realize that you're dying a little inside without it. i miss you guys like that. i love you.

always, me

missing you

guys, i know it's awfully expensive but i feel really cut off from you without internet and if you could call me i would jump from joy. and mom has my number. ok i love you.

and for zabe, my addy is
4-19-2 nishi-ikebukuro toshima-ku tokyo-to 171-0021


love you
me

Still no net

technically my dorm had internet installed yesterday but guess who has the one pc that will not access it. i dont know why because kim can get to my internet in my room and in hers but i cant get to it in either. i think maybe the plug jack or something in my pc got damaged but its hard to really convince myself of that because i used ethernet in the last dorm too and it worked just fine.

in this dorm however, it wont work at all.

so yeah, wait a little longer while i try to figure out this problem. who knows it could be fixed without me doing anything and before i even get home and then i`ll be great. but at the moment, i am not sure so i wanted to let you all know that it might be a while. might. might not.

and i`m finally healing up from my long bout with some kind of japanese flu. so i may try to write something more tomorrow.

So this is the update

i failed one test, passed the other of the two we`ve had so far. I managed to convince my teachers that i am studious and have even managed to convince myself that i really can be that way. i really try to study as often as possible and since i have no internet, i usually only have that to do. but recently i have been sick so my grades slipped a litte and hence the failed test but i am going to study really hard for the make up exam. this weekend i will try to. because as i was writing the above sentence i just remembered that i have a kanji test tomorrow too. and a intonation quiz.

i got the package mom and thanks for everything, sara the movie is awesome i know you knew before you sent it but just in case you didnt i totally love it.

i have not weighed myself or measured in about a month but my classmate told me that i look thinner in the recent week, i blame it on not being able to eat anything. but i dont know.

i think i have this mental block or something. i know i am a lot thinner than i was and i can see it in reflections and stuff but when i move or dress or what have you i do it as a fat person. i take paths through wider spaces and i dont try to squeeze around people even if now i could. its odd, and though i want to get even thinner, i think it`ll just get more odd.

anyways, that`s what i`ve been thinking. i gotta go. love you all.
me

Hey again

okay i will weekly check my emails and such but it is getting so hasslesome to check it more often than that that i just cant do it. sorry. and i should get my own internet in early february.

i hope. then i will zehi fill you all in asap. but i am sick and its just stopped raining so i`m kaeru-ing before it starts again. oh, uh, going home i mean. bye!

love you,
me