I am so mad

My phone, my zune (ipod thing), my Alien id card, my train pass, and 180 dollars got stolen. I have two bucks in my pocket and that's the only thing they didn't take. okay, that and thank god i didn't have my credit card or i'd be worse off.

i'm going to an atm tomorrow and get more cash, again. and then i'm going to buy a new train pass, go to shibuya and fill out all the proper forms. if my phone gets shut off, and when my zune's battery dies i'm hoping that no one will see the point in keeping them. because it can be done but changing a phone's user is so hard to do illegally. it's almost impossible. and no one has zune's over here so what would be the point in keeping that.

i've accepted the fact that the cash is gone. i've accepted the fact that my train pass is gone. I will not accept the fact that the day after school is over, when i have just put all of my friends phone numbers into my phone, phone is gone for good. that i won't accept.

and the thing is, i want to be sad about it or something but all i reallly feel is tired and stupid. i feel so stupid. why didn't i put that money into the locker with my purse? why didn't i notice when my zune magically disappeared as i was searching for my phone? why didn't i notice my pasmo being gone before i got to the station?

i just feel so so so so stupid. and mom, now i am desperate for money. it's no longer i would like dad's 2500. i need that money. i might have a little wiggle room for the next week or two because i can take out more on my credit card. but man. i am beyond beyond beyond mad at myself for being such an idiot!

i just wish that i could go back to that moment before lena called asking me to come for Sarah's last night in tokyo and turn off my phone. then at least i'd still have my phone and all my stuff. including my dignity. I really really want my dignity back.